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Topic:

Building Relationship Capital

More than 50% of successful jobs and business leads come from relationships, not from public job board or advertising. The biggest property of a businessman is not money, cars, houses or shares. It is their RELATIONSHIPS. Talk to Anphabe’s Advisor – Mr. Nguyen Tuan Quynh, Chairman of Saigon Fuel Oil, to understand more about this “social capital” and how to build it up.

Advisor:

Quynh Nguyen Tuan's picture

Quynh Nguyen Tuan

Member of Board of Management

PNJ

Timing:

The discussion is open from 14-05-2012 to 02-07-2012

The advisor answered on 26-06-2012

Giving - Receiving Balance

We often hear people say Giving is Receiving. I agree. However, what happens if one always give and the other person receive too much? It's not a win-win relationship, isn't it?

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  • Cám ơn bạn Hương vì câu hỏi khá thú vị này.

    Hiện nay, giver's gain: cho là nhận đang là triết lý sống được nhiều người tán đồng. Trong mối quan hệ, cho đi nhiều quá mà không nhận lại được gì, thì mối quan hệ đó đúng là không win – win nhưng bạn cũng không là người “thua” đâu. Tôi tin là ông trời rất công bằng, tổng những gì mình cho đi sẽ bằng tổng những gì mình nhận lại. Có thể sự cho đi và nhận lại đó không đến từ cùng một người. Nhưng tôi vẫn tin là nếu bạn cho đi một cách chân thành, không vụ lợi, thì trong tương lai, bạn sẽ nhận lại những điều tương tự từ người khác!

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  • Hello Thanh Huong,

    I think it also depends on the view of the Giver on Giving-Receiving. As the Giver sees giving is his/her meaningful value and the results of his/her giving are impactful to the Receiver. Then it is as much alike as win-win relationship no matter how the Giver is giving 'too much' because in fact he/she receives something else more meaningful.

    To a certain level, we can see 'unconditional' giving.

    At the end, I love what you said about giving the balance between Giving-Receiving as it is how it is in any relationship consciously or unconsciously.

    By the way, I was reading a nice book "Influencing without Authority" by Allan R Cohen. It says a lot about the value of giving-receiving, especially how you can influence people over whom you may not have authority. It is an art of giving-receiving.

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  • Sometimes it is hard to measure what is received. I often help others attain opportunities. Everything from jobs to internships or business connections. While I might not receive something of hard value I do become known as the person who provides these connections.

    On the other hand if someone only wants to receive then I distance myself from them. That is actually easy - you just break the patterns and make it difficult for the person to ask you. If it is a co-worker, eat lunch at a different time or place. If they do ask, say I am sorry but I really don't have the time today. Eventually they will understand.

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