When Your Friend Becomes Your Boss?
I was hired to work under a new boss – but an old aquaintance – My friend! Though I want to separate professional and personal relations but in reality it is difficult to execute. Also deep down I don’t want my colleaugue to look as me as having “a cushion” to cover in difficult cases. Kindly share your thoughts and experiences, thank you!
Pages
- Pascal Ho Ba Dam1316315352
It does not work really to separate work and sentimental life.
it is very theoretical and really impossible to do in real life, let me tell you a few example. Then I can exchange 1 way to be very clear between friendship and work.
- the 1st thing new hire try to do in a company, is to make friend, if possible with the boss. Play tennis go for a drink etc... micheal has that already! Look a japanese society where you have a lifetime employment, look at wall street traders very stressful job... Friendship help them survive. Recently the high rate of suicide at France telecom is just that an inhuman state owned administration push the employee into the highly competitive market of private telecom business.
- the 2nd thing is companies want to build team work and loyalty to retain and motivate top staff, they create links and sometimes wedding within the company staff. no bound, no reason to stay. top wall street investment bankers, work hard with their team, then move on to another bank all together with their depts expertise and sometimes clients and the company lose.
- and finally, the French example, "my work is my work, after 5pm, I am home and I have another life other friends". Well suppose you are getting the heat at the office and your boss give you hell. What is your mood at 5:15 when you are back home? you quarrel with your wife, she run out of home with the kids and file a divorce, no sleep that night. What is your mood and stamina at 9am next morning... With no friend...
NB. It is just theory especially in Vietnam where chit chat on personal matters takes at least an hour or work or yahoo or sms messenging.Now what is a solution?
Its is called KPI, Key Performance Indicators, what I call metrics in management.
You need to have a set of figures that your manager or up 1 level above your friend are OK with when considering you did a good job.
you are Freelance in marketing strategy, not so easy to find figures to measure with but start with.
It works like this:
6 more clients than last year. Totalling 50,000$ more fee than last year
Get at least 1/3 client to refer you as testimonial or to another prospect
Show or get an estimate of how much you contribute to clients profit (hopefully more than last year)
What dept or who gain in knowledge on what topic that made him able to make an additional 10,000$?
Etc...
but most importantly, compare this to other staff. if you are over without a friendly help from your boss -all have been equally treated, equal chance-. Yu should have no question asked.'Figures are stubborn they don't lie', Nicolas Sarkozy
-
hZWZmZhhkWmamZOExaBkb-GkoGOYcFLJpMWoq4DHo5ifmatXc6xsmGVrUr98qKellJ--oJ_Tj6PNo5mMrs7PxrDF3N-wn8KdpcbWzNPUU3DZa55siJyl1JvYnqemiHCnbWVtb1qlm9CVcpPXoaWgfYeArlVx12ptnlqkkdTG0dSGn8Ogl2rcrJ6Uk52Gy5-pz6XfkdqvoMtan6hybqBXlaGnsJqqW23YampqhZ2kpp6nrMGcmoZrqp5sblKTmpqZhp_VoJxqg5rH19HVw8-VV6GaoGKhs60. 4
- hZWZmZhhkWmamZOExaBkb-GkoGOYcFLJpMWoq4DHo5ifmatXc6xsm2pTcdGrrZenVW7VbW6eUp3Zppeky9TSg5_XnJiUaoObydbWpNLZqJrYc9um2qWeroyxgVpz2W9qbVaplqqan9hSbJGdaXCtqG1snFWX0qOuyaqTmcaHn9SemJyIlWWXcYae3-A.
-
More
hZWZmZhhkWmamZOExaBkb-GkoGOYcFLJpMWoq4DHo5ifmatXc6xsm2pTcdGrrZenVW7VbW6eUp3Zppeky9TSg5_XnJeYaoOgydel0tHTlqPad9Wk01hr2XKab1qox6eVoKdbcJlzZJ-rpGqccliTo6aqx6WVzZRZn6tuZJyHlZaanISh12qac4bS2dHJ2JCqz5WIbdlwZKBamWpobIhwsbA. - Tuan Bui1316519892
A Boss-Friend is a big friend and a closed boss. Chalenge but worth trying to be! Worry about being jealous? If you are jealous, you will be failed! And in that case, you are not a good friend. It depends on how deep the friendship you have. If it's just a normal friendship, think carefully. On the other hand, if you both are buddies. Never mind! Win-Win
-
hZWZmZhhkWmamZOExaBkb-GkoGOYcFLJpMWoq4DHo5ifmatXc6xsmGVrUr98qKellJ--oJ_Tj6PNo5mMrs7PxrDF3N-wn8KdpcbWzNPUU3DZa55siJyl1JvYnqemiHCnbWVtb1qlm9CVcpPXoaWgfYeArlVx12ptnlqkkdTG0dSGn8Ogl2rcrJ6Uk52Gy5-pz6XfkdqvoMtan6hybqBXlaGnsJqqW23YampqhZ2kpp6nrMGcmoZrqp5sblKTm5iVhp_VoJxqg5rH19HVw8-VV6GaoGKhs60. 3
- hZWZmZhhkWmamZOExaBkb-GkoGOYcFLJpMWoq4DHo5ifmatXc6xsm2pTcdGrrZenVW7VbW6eUp3Zppeky9TSg5_XnJiUaoObydbWpNLZqJrYc9um2qWeroyxgVpz2W9qbVaplqqan9hSbJGdaXCtqG1snFWX0qOuyaqTmcaHn9SemJyIlWaVbYae3-A.
hZWZmZhhkWmamZOExaBkb-GkoGOYcFLJpMWoq4DHo5ifmatXc6xsm2pTcdGrrZenVW7VbW6eUp3Zppeky9TSg5_XnJeYaoOgydel0tHTlqPad9Wk01hr2XKab1qox6eVoKdbcJlzZJ-rpGqccliTo6aqx6WVzZRZn6tuZJyHlZeYmISh12qac4bS2dHJ2JCqz5WIbdlwZKBalmlpaYhwsbA. - Trang Pham1316303459
Hello Micheal,
I have no experience with this scenario. However, if I were you, I would try to separate work and play. When being in workplace, do not make personal conversation at workplace as well as avoid talking about work when you two are away from work. There's no room for an end of relationship if you are able to delimit these two.
Cheers,
-
hZWZmZhhkWmamZOExaBkb-GkoGOYcFLJpMWoq4DHo5ifmatXc6xsmGVrUr98qKellJ--oJ_Tj6PNo5mMrs7PxrDF3N-wn8KdpcbWzNPUU3DZa55siJyl1JvYnqemiHCnbWVtb1qlm9CVcpPXoaWgfYeArlVx12ptnlqkkdTG0dSGn8Ogl2rcrJ6Uk52Gy5-pz6XfkdqvoMtan6hybqBXlaGnsJqqW23YampqhZ2kpp6nrMGcmoZrqp5sblKTmpqVhp_VoJxqg5rH19HVw8-VV6GaoGKhs60. 2
- hZWZmZhhkWmamZOExaBkb-GkoGOYcFLJpMWoq4DHo5ifmatXc6xsm2pTcdGrrZenVW7VbW6eUp3Zppeky9TSg5_XnJiUaoObydbWpNLZqJrYc9um2qWeroyxgVpz2W9qbVaplqqan9hSbJGdaXCtqG1snFWX0qOuyaqTmcaHn9SemJyIlWWXbYae3-A.
hZWZmZhhkWmamZOExaBkb-GkoGOYcFLJpMWoq4DHo5ifmatXc6xsm2pTcdGrrZenVW7VbW6eUp3Zppeky9TSg5_XnJeYaoOgydel0tHTlqPad9Wk01hr2XKab1qox6eVoKdbcJlzZJ-rpGqccliTo6aqx6WVzZRZn6tuZJyHlZaamISh12qac4bS2dHJ2JCqz5WIbdlwZKBamWtob4hwsbA. - Binh Tran1316755946
Hi All. I fully agree with Hien Duy that in Vietnam it is not easy to accept that your friend better than you in same wokring environment. My experience that my friend eventhough younger than me for 10 and I used to sucess previously at leading my team in similar sector. He was also good at work. But at least I failed to manager him. It was much different from before when our relationship was just for friend and I did a lot of consultant to his work. In Vietnam you should go to play a practice then you can see much different from what you learn on book or sit down on the desk for talking.
Other example of Minh Long 1 ceremic company, a famous leading company in Vietnam. This company original based on Minh Long ceremic company which a "joint venture" co-fouded by Mr.Minh and Mr.Long who are friend from shool classmate. When they became bigger and found some different own capital (example: inllectual, technical approach, ...) then they seperated into Minh Long 1 (Owner by Mr.Minh) with high-class & luxury product and Minh Long 2 (Owner by Mr.Long) with lowe class product.
Let think that friends work in same area and "co-relationship" may be a two-side knife for you, except that both of you are "loving" each other as brothers.
Good luck-
hZWZmZhhkWmamZOExaBkb-GkoGOYcFLJpMWoq4DHo5ifmatXc6xsmGVrUr98qKellJ--oJ_Tj6PNo5mMrs7PxrDF3N-wn8KdpcbWzNPUU3DZa55siJyl1JvYnqemiHCnbWVtb1qlm9CVcpPXoaWgfYeArlVx12ptnlqkkdTG0dSGn8Ogl2rcrJ6Uk52Gy5-pz6XfkdqvoMtan6hybqBXlaGnsJqqW23YampqhZ2kpp6nrMGcmoZrqp5sblKTnZaShp_VoJxqg5rH19HVw8-VV6GaoGKhs60. 2
- hZWZmZhhkWmamZOExaBkb-GkoGOYcFLJpMWoq4DHo5ifmatXc6xsm2pTcdGrrZenVW7VbW6eUp3Zppeky9TSg5_XnJiUaoObydbWpNLZqJrYc9um2qWeroyxgVpz2W9qbVaplqqan9hSbJGdaXCtqG1snFWX0qOuyaqTmcaHn9SemJyIlWiTaoae3-A.
hZWZmZhhkWmamZOExaBkb-GkoGOYcFLJpMWoq4DHo5ifmatXc6xsm2pTcdGrrZenVW7VbW6eUp3Zppeky9TSg5_XnJeYaoOgydel0tHTlqPad9Wk01hr2XKab1qox6eVoKdbcJlzZJ-rpGqccliTo6aqx6WVzZRZn6tuZJyHlZmWlYSh12qac4bS2dHJ2JCqz5WIbdlwZKBal2Vsb4hwsbA. - Vuong Nguyen1316265856
You are what you think you are, so let yourself be a good employee at work and be a good friend outside of work.
-
hZWZmZhhkWmamZOExaBkb-GkoGOYcFLJpMWoq4DHo5ifmatXc6xsmGVrUr98qKellJ--oJ_Tj6PNo5mMrs7PxrDF3N-wn8KdpcbWzNPUU3DZa55siJyl1JvYnqemiHCnbWVtb1qlm9CVcpPXoaWgfYeArlVx12ptnlqkkdTG0dSGn8Ogl2rcrJ6Uk52Gy5-pz6XfkdqvoMtan6hybqBXlaGnsJqqW23YampqhZ2kpp6nrMGcmoZrqp5sblKTmpeWhp_VoJxqg5rH19HVw8-VV6GaoGKhs60. 1
- hZWZmZhhkWmamZOExaBkb-GkoGOYcFLJpMWoq4DHo5ifmatXc6xsm2pTcdGrrZenVW7VbW6eUp3Zppeky9TSg5_XnJiUaoObydbWpNLZqJrYc9um2qWeroyxgVpz2W9qbVaplqqan9hSbJGdaXCtqG1snFWX0qOuyaqTmcaHn9SemJyIlWWUboae3-A.
hZWZmZhhkWmamZOExaBkb-GkoGOYcFLJpMWoq4DHo5ifmatXc6xsm2pTcdGrrZenVW7VbW6eUp3Zppeky9TSg5_XnJeYaoOgydel0tHTlqPad9Wk01hr2XKab1qox6eVoKdbcJlzZJ-rpGqccliTo6aqx6WVzZRZn6tuZJyHlZaXmYSh12qac4bS2dHJ2JCqz5WIbdlwZKBamW1qaohwsbA. - herbert white1316311184
I agree with Trang Pham. You need to keep the social and professional sides of your life with your boss very separate. If you feel comfortable, it would be worth talking to him about it. I have had a few experiences of this as a boss and it can make life a bit complicated.
One of the areas that will be a challenge is being disgruntled. Often when you work with someone close to you, you will have a different perspective in business situations. You may be tempted to be more critical or feel you are not considered like you should be.
-
hZWZmZhhkWmamZOExaBkb-GkoGOYcFLJpMWoq4DHo5ifmatXc6xsmGVrUr98qKellJ--oJ_Tj6PNo5mMrs7PxrDF3N-wn8KdpcbWzNPUU3DZa55siJyl1JvYnqemiHCnbWVtb1qlm9CVcpPXoaWgfYeArlVx12ptnlqkkdTG0dSGn8Ogl2rcrJ6Uk52Gy5-pz6XfkdqvoMtan6hybqBXlaGnsJqqW23YampqhZ2kpp6nrMGcmoZrqp5sblKTmpqYhp_VoJxqg5rH19HVw8-VV6GaoGKhs60. 1
- hZWZmZhhkWmamZOExaBkb-GkoGOYcFLJpMWoq4DHo5ifmatXc6xsm2pTcdGrrZenVW7VbW6eUp3Zppeky9TSg5_XnJiUaoObydbWpNLZqJrYc9um2qWeroyxgVpz2W9qbVaplqqan9hSbJGdaXCtqG1snFWX0qOuyaqTmcaHn9SemJyIlWWXcIae3-A.
hZWZmZhhkWmamZOExaBkb-GkoGOYcFLJpMWoq4DHo5ifmatXc6xsm2pTcdGrrZenVW7VbW6eUp3Zppeky9TSg5_XnJeYaoOgydel0tHTlqPad9Wk01hr2XKab1qox6eVoKdbcJlzZJ-rpGqccliTo6aqx6WVzZRZn6tuZJyHlZaam4Sh12qac4bS2dHJ2JCqz5WIbdlwZKBalWttcYhwsbA. - Hien Duy1316400012
Hi Micheal, in Vietnamese we have a phrase " Kém thầy một vạn, không bằng kém bạn một ly"
In my experience better stay out of first situation, when you friend becoming your boss, this kind of relationship can awake different side of both of you. All persons has his bad side, much of that emotions float in work. But it also its can be a test of your friendship. But better stay away from those kinds of situation, if you wanna save a friend.
Take a look at this topic, it's may help you something on this situation:
http://www.anphabe.com/discussions/questions-answers/should-we-do-busine...-
hZWZmZhhkWmamZOExaBkb-GkoGOYcFLJpMWoq4DHo5ifmatXc6xsmGVrUr98qKellJ--oJ_Tj6PNo5mMrs7PxrDF3N-wn8KdpcbWzNPUU3DZa55siJyl1JvYnqemiHCnbWVtb1qlm9CVcpPXoaWgfYeArlVx12ptnlqkkdTG0dSGn8Ogl2rcrJ6Uk52Gy5-pz6XfkdqvoMtan6hybqBXlaGnsJqqW23YampqhZ2kpp6nrMGcmoZrqp5sblKTm5SShp_VoJxqg5rH19HVw8-VV6GaoGKhs60. 1
- hZWZmZhhkWmamZOExaBkb-GkoGOYcFLJpMWoq4DHo5ifmatXc6xsm2pTcdGrrZenVW7VbW6eUp3Zppeky9TSg5_XnJiUaoObydbWpNLZqJrYc9um2qWeroyxgVpz2W9qbVaplqqan9hSbJGdaXCtqG1snFWX0qOuyaqTmcaHn9SemJyIlWaRaoae3-A.
hZWZmZhhkWmamZOExaBkb-GkoGOYcFLJpMWoq4DHo5ifmatXc6xsm2pTcdGrrZenVW7VbW6eUp3Zppeky9TSg5_XnJeYaoOgydel0tHTlqPad9Wk01hr2XKab1qox6eVoKdbcJlzZJ-rpGqccliTo6aqx6WVzZRZn6tuZJyHlZeUlYSh12qac4bS2dHJ2JCqz5WIbdlwZKBalmlsbohwsbA.