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Answers

Topic:

Work Life Balance – Reclaim Your Control to Success

The relationship between personal and professional life can be rocky. It’s tricky to maintain a healthy work life balance, especially when you are a leader or top performer in the organization. Within the same 24 hours per day, how can we restore harmony while still boosting productivity? Discuss with Anphabe's advisor- Mr.Paul Wong – Founder at Radical Coaching and other members to find out the effective strategy to deal with this never-ending issue.

Advisor:

Paul Wong's picture

Paul Wong

Servant Leadership Facilitator

Timing:

The discussion is open from 21-03-2012 to 30-04-2012

The advisor answered on 20-04-2012

Breaking the balance of your life?

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Tue Minh's picture
1332989548

Hi Mr. Paul Wong,

In reality, there are cases like this one. "I’m in a status that many people consider balanced. But I really want to start something new. For this, I may leave my current job, change my place of living and start from Zero once again. This mean I am going to throw myself into turbulence without any definite result."

I would like to hear from you and other Anphabe members on this topic: When and how to have the courage to break the balance of one's life for new venture? Is it worth risking one’s peaceful life that one have built and maintained for years for building something new from scratch?

Thanks and happy day to all!

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Answers

  • Paul Wong's picture
    Paul Wong
    1334997791

    Thank you for your very good question, Tue Minh. I'm sure this is a situation all of us can find ourselves in sometimes.

    First, I think it is important that we understand the difference between work-life balance and being in a comfort zone. Good work-life balance helps us to face the guaranteed changes of life positively while being in a comfort zone may prevent us from facing changes positively.

    I believe real balance is internal and not affected (but will be tested) by external circumstances. It is the byproduct of living each day according to the right priorities. When we figure that out and have conviction to live by it, we have an inner peace regardless of whether life is good or going through turbulence.

    What I hope I am understanding correctly from your question is - "When & how to have the courage to change?".

    Here are my suggestions from dealing with change in my life:

    1. Seek Advice from Trustworthy Seasoned Travelers

    When we want to see a new place, we ask those who've been there many times for advice, not from those who know a lot about that place but have never been there. Seek out advisors and mentors you trust who can listen to your situation and give you some advice. In moments of change, what we need is clarity and we need fresh perspective from the right people. With clarity comes courage and confidence.

    2. Consider Love Ones (Our Passengers)

    I think one of the biggest frustration in our decision making is how it affect our relationships. We know our choices impact others and but often we just don't know how much. Whether we are single or married, when we make important decisions we should consider not just our own risk appetites but also the risk appetites of our love ones. Ask for their opinions.

    It won't be easy especially for those who are having difficult relationships with their love ones. But perhaps this is exactly what is needed because the reason why we feel out of balance with our choices sometimes is because we have not considered the impact of our choices on our love ones.

    3. Signal Early

    Accidents happen on the road when we decide to change directions too quickly. The bigger our vehicle (responsibility), the more damage we do when we don't signal the changes we plan to do to those around us.

    We need to understand speed is neutral, it is neither good nor bad. Going fast can be good sometimes, the same with going slow. So if you are not in a life or death situation which requires lightning fast reflexes, it is good to signal early.

    Many who want to change careers or start their own business ask me "I want really want to make this change but I'm afraid the people around me cannot accept it. How should I go about this?"

    My advice is to signal early like we signal our motorbike/car before turning. Let those close to us know we are planning for a change.

    eg. "Hi love one/friend, since you are important to me, I want to let you know something I'm planning. I've been considering this new direction for a while. I've thought through it carefully and plan to make a change in about 6-12 months."

    Even if those relationships are not supportive of your change and you are very sure about your decision, it will have managed their expectations and enable you to keep the peace with them. One possible way to respond to those not supportive may be: "Thank you so much for sharing your advice and opinion. I do appreciate it. Please know I will be considering this very carefully and will make my decision."

    Hope this isn't more than what you asked for! :) I do believe when we seek good advice, consider our love ones and communicate early to others, it enables to keep our balance when going through changes in life. All the best!

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  • Ami Nguyen's picture
    Ami Nguyen
    1334313959

    Hey there,' the person in this case', in my opinion is do what you ''really want to''. Don't waste your life for other expectation but not yours. I'm used to be in the same situation, not exactly but 80%. Said easier than done, but it is worthy to give it a shot as long as you take full responsibility for your decision. I think the right time is when you stop doubting about your choice. You can get the courage by thinking of the future. There is no such thing as stable if you still want to change. You go girl!
    I give you this example of How to make Work-life balance work from Ted Talk :)
    http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/en/nigel_marsh_how_to_make_work_life_balan...

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