“Don’t Beat The Old Dog” <http://elsleadership.com/2014/04/17/dont-beat-the-old-dog/>
Last week a good friend of mine, who once worked for me before moving on to a job of increased scope and responsibility, sent me a distress email. When he worked with me, he did a great job. I would hire him again based on what I knew of him back then and now. However, I am not his issue. He was writing to share that he had just learned a previous employer would not consider him for rehire in an executive position. He was both disappointed and surprised because he could not imagine why this previous employer would take such a position. He asked me what I thought might be behind the past employer taking such a position.
“I’ve seen a lot of people come and go!”
Over the years, I have hired and fired my share of people. I would like to think that my “hires” were good and so were my “fires”. It is also the case that I have just seen many people come and many people go. I have come to observe that people just do not stay with one company all their careers. I recently read that a working person today will average five different employers across the span of a “stable” career. This does not surprise me. I have encouraged good employees I supervised to leave the company and their current jobs when better career opportunities presented themselves elsewhere. You must always act in your own best interest when considering your employment situation.This includes making the most gracious departure possible.
Most employers today do not want or expect you to remain in the organization indefinitely. It is good for an organization to experience transfusions, to get new blood in its veins. It is also true that organization realize they may not offer the development and promotion opportunities that upwardly mobile employees want and need, as fast as they want and need them. However, every coin has two sides. Many companies today do not want to rehire past employees. They want to let the past remain in the past. There is an abundance of new resource and most organizations are looking forward. Rehires are just not that common, certainly in management and leadership positions.
That said, there are some rules and guideline I have developed from experience I would share with any departing employees, whether you ever expect to return to the company or not.
“Always Leave with Dignity”
Changing jobs is one of the five major life-changing events most of us will experience (along with marriage, children, moving, and buying a house). Each of these is emotionally charged in its own unique way. Any emotionally charged situation calls for composure and poise (refer to my earlier blog “Never Let’um See You Sweat”). Tell your immediate supervisor that you are leaving before you tell anyone else. If you tell someone else first, I promise you that it is not a question of if your boss will hear about it before you get to him or her; it is only a question of how soon it will get to him or her. Do not allow it to look as if you are talking-up your imminent departure across the organization. It does not look good. Your managers and leaders will wonder what you have said and why you said it. Here I speak from experience. When I was moving from my first to my second hospital job. It is hard to maintain your composure when you walk into your boss’s office and he opens the conversation with, “Hey, I heard you are leaving us in a month and going to work for our largest competitor. I have heard two stories: more money and a better situation. Which is it? I thought you were one of our up and comers.” Boy, did I wish I gone to him first to share my news. Little I said was going to change what he had already been told.
“… and Dignity Cuts Two Ways”
Be gracious and show respect to your current employer, regardless of the reason you are leaving. If your reasons for leaving have nothing to do with the company, then do not make the company part of the conversation. More than once I have seen and heard someone who is clearly leaving in their own interest, rationalize their action with fellow employees by throwing mud on the company. They diminish the company and cause themselves to look bad in the process. Dignified people never stoop to public criticism of others, including the company. Even if you are leaving the company because you are unhappy with it or persons with it, “Keep your issues to yourself”. You really have nothing to gain and everything to lose by voicing your opinion at this point. Speaking badly of the company or a person within it just creates a negative memory of you at a time when you will have little to no opportunity to change it.
It is important to inform your fellow employees of what you are doing so that they do not speculate. Inform them, after you have informed your boss, of your intentions. However, avoid over informing anyone of your reasons for leaving. One, they do not need to know (and probably do not really care). Two, everything you share, of a personal or professional nature becomes grist for the gossip and rumor mill. Do not share so much you allow others to destroy your dignity or the dignity of the company.
If you want to be really classy, when you inform your boss of your intended departure, ask him or her how they would like you both, together, to inform appropriate staff. Create a Transition Plan you jointly own. It will become part of how that supervisor, manager or leader remembers you.
“Don’t Try to Serve Two Masters”
Make the job you currently have your only job until the day you leave the organization and work it one hundred percent. Do not bring anything – even your thoughts – related to the new job into your current workplace. One of the best compliments I ever received came the day before I left a company when my boss walked into my office and said, “I just have to tell you that the way you have worked in the last month, no would suspect that tomorrow is you last day. I and the Board really appreciate it.” Never let it be said that you slacked off after you gave notice (and, obviously, always give notice – at a minimum – in full compliance with company policy). Always leave one piece of positive work that you were not expected to accomplish behind. Do not be reluctant to inform your boss that you are doing so. This is one time you do want to “blow your own horn”. Let him or her know that you intend to leave on a positive note. It will make a difference.
“How can I Be Most Helpful in the Transition?”
I have always been most impressed when an employee who has given me notice asks what they can do to make the process go more smoothly. My answers have been different in different situations. Once, a particularly strong member of my team was moving to a better personal opportunity. I could not help but support him. I was impressed when he said, “I have done a little analysis you might be interested in. I have two internal candidates who, I believe, could perform well in my position. If you would prefer to look outside, I have a couple of people I would be willing to talk to about what I think would be an excellent opportunity for them and a win for our company (he still called us “our company” and that meant a lot to me, too).”
Never leave the company in the lurch. Give proper notice. In doing so, make it clear that you will stay a little longer if the company needs you to do so. Also, let the company know if it is in their interest for you to leave sooner within the notice period you will graciously do so. Be authentic and actually be prepared for either possibility. Never renege on these offers as doing so would become part of the legacy you leave behind. Always offer to stay long enough to orient and train, as required, your successor.
One particularly thoughtful young Personal Assistant who worked for me over a three-year period was leaving to go back to school. She had the “stuff” to be an executive in the healthcare business. She prepared – without being asked – a comprehensive binder of “Things You’ll Need to Know” for the person who was coming in as her replacement. I was impressed and really thought to myself, “I will hire her back in a minute when she finishes school.”
“Never Beat the Old Dog”
Earlier, I mentioned that I do not understand why people choose to say negative things about the company and people in it when they choose to leave (or even when they are asked to leave). There is nothing to be gained in this, but it can cost a lot. The weeks before you leave a company are your most important legacy building weeks. Use them to build a positive recall of you. Do not allow people to say, “Remember how negative he was when he was here. He never had anything good to say about the company or anyone in it.” Single negative comments can quickly come to represent “who you were” for people.
The downside of speaking badly of the company or the people in it, (this is “Beating the Old Dog”) continues after you leave the company. It is a small world and the possibility of something you say, negative or positive, about a previous employer getting back to them is quite high. Really, it is not a question of whether something said will get back to someone in a previous company; it is only a question of when. To the extent I ever speak of a previous employer or of any person working in that company, I only say things that are positive and constructive. If you do not have something positive to say, say nothing at all.
“Never Get Between the Dog and the Lamp Post”
This recommendation is critical and it is closely tied to the suggestion that you never “Beat the Old Dog”. Keep your issues your issues. Do not share them with anyone, except you supervisors, managers and leaders, and when doing so always follow the formal chain of command. In the course of your work life, you will encounter instances where fellow employees want to draw you into their own issues with the company, with a supervisor or with fellow employees. You may even agree with them. Stay out of other people’s battles. Do not put yourself between the “Dog and the Lamp Post”. You can imagine what happens visually and this is exactly what happens in the real world. You will come out the worse for it.
As you are leaving the organization this point becomes even more critical. If you are sucked into someone’s issue and you take a position, if you make a comment, it will backfire on you. Remember, your notice period is your greatest legacy-building period. Use it to be positive, complimentary and gracious. The last thing you want is to be quoted – correctly or incorrectly – after you have departed by someone who simply is using you as a pawn in a game in which you have no stake and cannot possibly be a winner. The last thing you want is to be that person who is referenced by everyone and anyone who has a bone to pick with the company or someone within it. That is not the legacy you want to create for yourself.
“Never Burn a Bridge You Might Want or Need to Cross Again.”
In the end, it really comes down to this statement. There is no reason to burn a bridge under any circumstance. Several times herein, I have mentioned that the key to being remembered well by any organization is to be positive in word and action. While you should do so every day of every week, of every year of your employment, there is no more important time for you to be so than when you are leaving the organization. Your end stage behavior will have the greatest influence on how you are remembered. It will dictate your legacy. Leave something positive behind. I recall a boss I once had who was leaving to take a position elsewhere. I was beneath the pay grade where I would know the details. He actually created bridges that he might cross back over. I and maybe fifty other managers and leaders each received a personal note from him. In it, he thanked us for making the company and him, personally, successful. He shared with each of us a personal recollection of something positive that had happened between him and us. Finally, he offered that we should personally contact us if ever there was something he could do for us. We all could tell he meant it. Wow, do I have fond recollection of him.
Finally, if you really liked the company you worked for check back in on it from time to time. “Keep in touch” with a few of the people you were closest to, at your level, above your level and beneath your level. Never gossip, just be positive and informed. Then, should the need or situation arise, you have a comfortable avenue for reconnection and entre.
To my friend who sent me the email I would say two final things (hoping it has meaning for each of you as well). One, do not make this mean more than it needs to. Maybe your old employer simply believes you cannot recreate the past. The water has passed under the bridge. Two, maybe you did do one of the things mentioned above that you should not have done. The great thing is that we all have the chance to start over. Going forward just make every transition in your life as positive as possible. Be gracious, courteous and sensitive as possible.